113 – Jessie J, the Mail Online and the issue of warpaint

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Seeing as though this month’s fash mags are full of outfits and styles I actually find rather cool, I am left with no alternative but to head elsewhere for my read and rant desires.

This sick need, like that of addictive scab picking, was more than satiated, as I happened to pass by the Mail Online. This was work related I swear. Whenever I pass by this site, as was the case today, I find myself witnessing something so grotesquely ugly and bizarre, that I just have to stand and watch, out of morbid fascination (I refer here to what is written and not who is written about).

The grabbing headline to make me vomit was “Jessie J goes barefaced at Cannes”, you can tell that serious news is their business. Hang on, no, serious news with a huge dollop of sexism is their business. The headline concluded “but it isn’t long before she succumbs to her signature warpaint”. Oh how she gives into those womanly weaknesses. Hmmm.

The story was based on this: Jessie J did a pre-show run through of her song without any make-up on, then got ready for the stage and performed in full techni-coloured glory later on. When I was in a band, I saw a lot of this. Bands show up for sound check pretty much in their jimmys, then transform into full on rock gods in time for the first paying punter.

Jessie J is fortunate, and unfortunate enough, to be so famous that people want to snap pictures of her sans ‘slap’ (as always speech marks indicate grottiness). Does she care? Probably not in the slightest. If she did she’d have bunged a bit of mascara and lippy on for the warm-up.

The disturbing thing about this article, and indeed the obsession with ‘revealing’ women ‘as they really are’, (you see it all the time; famous women out shopping in scruffy jeans, running, picking up their kids, resting on a film set) is it objectifies women for the singular purpose of being something to sneer at, talk about and pass judgement on.

It invites along with it a vile host of responses, from the “Ha, not so gorgeous now are you?” camp to the “When will these women realise they look worse with their faces plastered in make-up” which was nicely posted by ‘Tom, British Isles”. What a charmer. These comments are entirely contradictory, neither complimentary and both equally stomach churning.

As anyone who reads this blog will know, I am rather fond of dressing up in a ridiculously over the top (a notion determined by others, never by me) fashion. I don’t believe in saving all those fabulously glittery things for best, preferring to wear them on a day-to-day basis. I love to express myself through the clothes and make-up I wear; whether it’s cabaret glamour for a day working at home, or my other good half’s oversized, plain as is possible, grey cardi for an important meeting (damn it I have them too), it’s all good to me.

While I love sparkle, sequins and glitter (and other words referring to things that shine) I loathe ‘slap’, ‘warpaint’ and anything that gets ‘plastered’. All are grotty, harsh sounding words, usually used by men (the type who write and comment on these articles, obviously not all men in general) who have the bizarrely over-puffed-up notion that women wear make-up to make themselves appealing to men.

Hahaaaa (said condescendingly like a wizened witch), how wrong you are. It is only a shame that most men, having been gender whitewashed, miss out on the sheer joy of playing dressing-up. You see, many women use clothes and make-up as a daily, creative means of artistic expression. Sometimes you are expressing “I’m off to do the weeding”; sometimes you are expressing “I am sipping my fifth cocktail on the balcony, look how the setting sun reflects off of my sequinned, charity shop trash top, doesn’t it clash magnificently with the gaudy, thick gold glitter I have stuck to my eyelids – pure decadence. Now pass me a cigar”.

There are unfortunately cases where women wear make-up through lack of confidence; many people of both sexes do things to cover up insecurities. Articles like this one only serve to reinforce those issues – these are the tools of such cruddy, rubbishy publications. They are also the tools used by men, to keep women in their place. So don’t EVER ‘know your place’ women. Know your face, yes, and make-it up with glee – or don’t – as you like really. Either way, enjoy yourself and express yourself (thanks Madonna), however you like, regardless of ‘fashion’, ‘style’ or so-called ‘taste’ – I have none and long may it be so!

Today I listened to: unouomedude (really that is his name, and very good it is too)

I took a picture of our flask as Kevin, my other rather lovely half, had left it on the kitchen side. We love this flask. It is beautiful in its sturdy reliability. It has been all over with us and always makes us happy when we use it.
© Anne Louise Kershaw